What it’s like being in the early 20’s ?

It is that time of your life, where on one side you feel your life is completely messed up and on the other side seems so lovely, beautiful and fascinating at the same time..

They say, maturity comes on achieving the age of 18, but it’s easier said than done!

Sure, everyone is mature in their own sense by the time they become adults, but the real maturity kicks in when you face challenges in life and by the age of 22 or 23 , I believe most of us have gone through quite a few challenges which show you the true meaning of life!

It is by this time, you realise life is not only about being happy but facing the bad times with positivity. You realise, optimism is the key to happiness..

It is by this time, most of us have had a very interesting phases of our relationships, we have been in true love which make us feel on cloud nine at some point but it is also by this time some of us have gone through real relationship challenges which can make you feel nugatory!

It is by this time, you start to accept the bitter truths of life..

You realise, your parents are also ageing and you feel the urge to spend quality time with your family!

You realise, you need to be independent of others, for it’s only you who is responsible for your own destiny!

You realise, you have grown up and are no more a kid!

It is by this time, you have to accept failure as a part of your life, no wonder how intelligent you are..

You start to worry about your career, your jobs and having a secure and happy future for your own family! You start to feel responsible towards life..

You meet new people on your journey, and you realise everyone you meet has some lesson in store for you..

Also, it is by this time, you feel the need to be a little adventurous about life..It’s all about time…

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Walking into someone else’s shoes!

It has been long said that the experience of walking into someone else’s shoes gives you an insight as to what they are going through.

To a degree, it can.

However, while you are walking in someone else’s shoes, you are doing it with full knowledge that you can escape those shoes at any time you choose to do so, and that frees you from much of the burden they are carrying !!

You might think, that you understand what they are going through, but you will never understand it fully until it happens to you..

Overcoming being Emotional !

Being an emotional person and leading with the heart can both be great qualities. Leaning onto our feelings allows us to be more self-aware and helps connect us to others.

But if we allow our emotions to dictate how we live our lives, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and even have a negative impact on our health and relationships.

As an empathetic person who used to feel things deeply, I have learned this lesson the hard way.

It really took me time to grasp the concept that all emotions stem from thought.

As a young man with low self esteem, I didn’t realize that my negative self-talk and sensitivity to others’ opinions were having a profound effect on my emotions and moods.

After years of faulty thinking about who I was and what I wanted in life, I find myself sitting lonely in an empty neighbourhood park in the freezing weather, (it’s December!) barely managing to type this down – waiting for the dawn and then the sun to shine it’s light upon the world and prove – “It’s a great day to be alive, to start something afresh

At the time I had no idea that each negative thought was having a compound effect on how I viewed myself and my life.

The older and wiser me has learned to be very aware of my emotions and to check in with myself on several levels before allowing them to have the final say.

When I climb up on the ladder of becoming mentally strong, at the first step I would say being emotional is not really as bad as you think it to be because it shows your strength to share your feelings, what you actually feel from within, deep inside, with the persons you love, with those whom you feel comfortable with because sharing your thoughts and emotions is what makes you bring closer to your partner, isn’t it ? – What’s the point in having them around you, if you can’t share your emotions and feelings with them ?

But as I climb onto the next step of the same ladder, I get to see a more greater view, a new perception of being emotional. It’s true that other people’s words and actions affect us, but we also need to take responsibility for the emotions we feel in response to those words and actions. No one can make you feel anything; it’s always a choice.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that you are not your emotions—you have the ability to decide if they lead you or if you lead them.

With my experiences, I now choose to lead my emotions and leave the stupid emotional sensitivity far behind!

Drinking ? Sorry not sorry.

Yeah, I am 23 and you heard that right – I don’t drink. It could be baffling how at this age, people would alienate each other for drinking. The tables have turned. At every party or a gathering (including the family gatherings by my own drinker relatives!) , I am being judged more for not drinking than I’ve ever judged anyone till date.

So what made me think about it ?

Recently, there was a marriage in the family and you see at the family marriage functions, the cocktail parties and all and even at the parties with your best pals – there’s a kind of prefixed assumption that if you don’t drink – you simply don’t belong there!

I don’t abstain from alcohol because it can get pricey.

I don’t abstain from drinking because I think it’s bad.

I don’t think anyone who drinks is a bad person!

It’s just my choice. Don’t we have the right to choose, what we want ? So why is it that I am being judged for not drinking ?

Well, people simply don’t understand.

I am being misunderstood but I can understand myself. It seems as if people feel sorry for me for not drinking with them, but does that really make sense ?

If I don’t judge you for your drinking habits, then why do I have to be judged for not drinking ?! We are what our choices make us, for we all have the right to choose!