What it’s like being in the early 20’s ?

It is that time of your life, where on one side you feel your life is completely messed up and on the other side seems so lovely, beautiful and fascinating at the same time..

They say, maturity comes on achieving the age of 18, but it’s easier said than done!

Sure, everyone is mature in their own sense by the time they become adults, but the real maturity kicks in when you face challenges in life and by the age of 22 or 23 , I believe most of us have gone through quite a few challenges which show you the true meaning of life!

It is by this time, you realise life is not only about being happy but facing the bad times with positivity. You realise, optimism is the key to happiness..

It is by this time, most of us have had a very interesting phases of our relationships, we have been in true love which make us feel on cloud nine at some point but it is also by this time some of us have gone through real relationship challenges which can make you feel nugatory!

It is by this time, you start to accept the bitter truths of life..

You realise, your parents are also ageing and you feel the urge to spend quality time with your family!

You realise, you need to be independent of others, for it’s only you who is responsible for your own destiny!

You realise, you have grown up and are no more a kid!

It is by this time, you have to accept failure as a part of your life, no wonder how intelligent you are..

You start to worry about your career, your jobs and having a secure and happy future for your own family! You start to feel responsible towards life..

You meet new people on your journey, and you realise everyone you meet has some lesson in store for you..

Also, it is by this time, you feel the need to be a little adventurous about life..It’s all about time…


Overcoming being Emotional !

Being an emotional person and leading with the heart can both be great qualities. Leaning onto our feelings allows us to be more self-aware and helps connect us to others.

But if we allow our emotions to dictate how we live our lives, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and even have a negative impact on our health and relationships.

As an empathetic person who used to feel things deeply, I have learned this lesson the hard way.

It really took me time to grasp the concept that all emotions stem from thought.

As a young man with low self esteem, I didn’t realize that my negative self-talk and sensitivity to others’ opinions were having a profound effect on my emotions and moods.

After years of faulty thinking about who I was and what I wanted in life, I find myself sitting lonely in an empty neighbourhood park in the freezing weather, (it’s December!) barely managing to type this down – waiting for the dawn and then the sun to shine it’s light upon the world and prove – “It’s a great day to be alive, to start something afresh

At the time I had no idea that each negative thought was having a compound effect on how I viewed myself and my life.

The older and wiser me has learned to be very aware of my emotions and to check in with myself on several levels before allowing them to have the final say.

When I climb up on the ladder of becoming mentally strong, at the first step I would say being emotional is not really as bad as you think it to be because it shows your strength to share your feelings, what you actually feel from within, deep inside, with the persons you love, with those whom you feel comfortable with because sharing your thoughts and emotions is what makes you bring closer to your partner, isn’t it ? – What’s the point in having them around you, if you can’t share your emotions and feelings with them ?

But as I climb onto the next step of the same ladder, I get to see a more greater view, a new perception of being emotional. It’s true that other people’s words and actions affect us, but we also need to take responsibility for the emotions we feel in response to those words and actions. No one can make you feel anything; it’s always a choice.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that you are not your emotions—you have the ability to decide if they lead you or if you lead them.

With my experiences, I now choose to lead my emotions and leave the stupid emotional sensitivity far behind!

A Second chance

What if, you could go back in time and re-experience a certain event of your life once again..

Sounds achievable, isn’t it ?

Not really.

Of late, I’ve already committed a lot of mistakes. And I say that with pride, no hesitation, because I believe making mistakes is a part of being human. It defines who we are and is indeed an essential part of our lives.

My mind was constantly pre-occupied with panic stricken what-ifs.

If only I knew, it only worsened my already worsening anxiety…

It felt so right.

If only I wish, I knew what was wrong…

Being familiar with the saying – “What matters now, may not matter as much in the future” , because life goes on, and so shall we.

It’s easy to start to feel hopeless and terribly alone in a world so closed up and filled with hatred and anger. It’s hard to get a second chance – to prove that you’re a good person, that you can handle responsibility and challenges that may be others might or might not be able to deal with in the same way you want to.

I firmly believe everyone in this world deserves a second chance, with quite a few exceptions though. Not because, they shall be forgiven but because mistakes help people grow. Without them, people won’t ever improve. So many of us mess up in our lives.

A second chance extended to another person is also a second chance for us. We shall not limit our potential by closing our minds to the possibility of change.

If you give them a chance to stand on their own two feet, it could make them realise that they’re loved and are cared for!

Things 2017 made me learn.

Okay, so it can be quite a difficult task to actually have to pen down what exactly did the year – which is coming to an end , made you learn.

But, as writing makes you feel good and lighter – let’s just do it , so that in the coming years when you look back, you’ll have a sneak-peek of what the past years have made you learn and have helped you grow and evolve as a better human.

So, shall we go ahead ?

Whilst, the lessons in life are never ending because our life is a learning curve! We all, as humans learn from our mistakes.

So here it goes..

  • What tops my list is that life doesn’t really go according to our plans. Yes, at the beginning of each year – you make plans, you make resolutions but how many of you have actually been able to achieve those resolutions in the same way as you planned it to be ? I doubt – not everybody does.
  • People come into your life for a reason. This year has taught me how to let go of people, feelings, friendships and so much more. Even though I still care , but I had to learn that you can’t force anybody to stay in your life forever. Even the close ones don’t stay forever!

Nothing ever leaves, until it teaches what you need to know.

– Pema Chodron

  • People change. They really do. Their personality switches as soon as they switch their environment.. and in the end, it doesn’t even matter to them!
  • The line – “Silence speaks louder than words” did make an entry into my life this year. I learned it’s better to have your mouth shut than to say something violent – which people will not eventually pay any heed to. There were times, when I just felt like screaming out loud – but it’s of no use, literally. Better not ruin your mouth for somebody else’s fault. Maintain your dignity.

  • Your kindness might sometimes get misunderstood for your weakness. Be careful.

  • Bad days will come, for sure. Learn to be strong enough to face them. Life’s a learning curve, isn’t it ?
  • The moment people get to know of your disabilities, all the focus tends to shift from your capabilities, your positive qualities to just the negative ones! Well, that is what you call the society’s way of thinking.
  • Tolerance. I learned to tolerate people. You can’t change anybody. You can only control yourself, your actions, your behaviours! All you can do is just being you. Let the world adjust.
  • Some paths – you have take alone. Learn to be alone. It’s really difficult. But we have got no choice, when the world turns it’s back towards us.
  • I used to be a negative person at times though, but circumstances and experiences made me see the positive side of everything.

There’s a lot more I have learnt, so I would only like to say that the list above is not exhaustive.

Now may I know what have you all learnt this year ?! 😉