What it’s like being in the early 20’s ?

It is that time of your life, where on one side you feel your life is completely messed up and on the other side seems so lovely, beautiful and fascinating at the same time..

They say, maturity comes on achieving the age of 18, but it’s easier said than done!

Sure, everyone is mature in their own sense by the time they become adults, but the real maturity kicks in when you face challenges in life and by the age of 22 or 23 , I believe most of us have gone through quite a few challenges which show you the true meaning of life!

It is by this time, you realise life is not only about being happy but facing the bad times with positivity. You realise, optimism is the key to happiness..

It is by this time, most of us have had a very interesting phases of our relationships, we have been in true love which make us feel on cloud nine at some point but it is also by this time some of us have gone through real relationship challenges which can make you feel nugatory!

It is by this time, you start to accept the bitter truths of life..

You realise, your parents are also ageing and you feel the urge to spend quality time with your family!

You realise, you need to be independent of others, for it’s only you who is responsible for your own destiny!

You realise, you have grown up and are no more a kid!

It is by this time, you have to accept failure as a part of your life, no wonder how intelligent you are..

You start to worry about your career, your jobs and having a secure and happy future for your own family! You start to feel responsible towards life..

You meet new people on your journey, and you realise everyone you meet has some lesson in store for you..

Also, it is by this time, you feel the need to be a little adventurous about life..It’s all about time…

Walking into someone else’s shoes!

It has been long said that the experience of walking into someone else’s shoes gives you an insight as to what they are going through.

To a degree, it can.

However, while you are walking in someone else’s shoes, you are doing it with full knowledge that you can escape those shoes at any time you choose to do so, and that frees you from much of the burden they are carrying !!

You might think, that you understand what they are going through, but you will never understand it fully until it happens to you..

Drinking ? Sorry not sorry.

Yeah, I am 23 and you heard that right – I don’t drink. It could be baffling how at this age, people would alienate each other for drinking. The tables have turned. At every party or a gathering (including the family gatherings by my own drinker relatives!) , I am being judged more for not drinking than I’ve ever judged anyone till date.

So what made me think about it ?

Recently, there was a marriage in the family and you see at the family marriage functions, the cocktail parties and all and even at the parties with your best pals – there’s a kind of prefixed assumption that if you don’t drink – you simply don’t belong there!

I don’t abstain from alcohol because it can get pricey.

I don’t abstain from drinking because I think it’s bad.

I don’t think anyone who drinks is a bad person!

It’s just my choice. Don’t we have the right to choose, what we want ? So why is it that I am being judged for not drinking ?

Well, people simply don’t understand.

I am being misunderstood but I can understand myself. It seems as if people feel sorry for me for not drinking with them, but does that really make sense ?

If I don’t judge you for your drinking habits, then why do I have to be judged for not drinking ?! We are what our choices make us, for we all have the right to choose!

A Second chance

What if, you could go back in time and re-experience a certain event of your life once again..

Sounds achievable, isn’t it ?

Not really.

Of late, I’ve already committed a lot of mistakes. And I say that with pride, no hesitation, because I believe making mistakes is a part of being human. It defines who we are and is indeed an essential part of our lives.

My mind was constantly pre-occupied with panic stricken what-ifs.

If only I knew, it only worsened my already worsening anxiety…

It felt so right.

If only I wish, I knew what was wrong…

Being familiar with the saying – “What matters now, may not matter as much in the future” , because life goes on, and so shall we.

It’s easy to start to feel hopeless and terribly alone in a world so closed up and filled with hatred and anger. It’s hard to get a second chance – to prove that you’re a good person, that you can handle responsibility and challenges that may be others might or might not be able to deal with in the same way you want to.

I firmly believe everyone in this world deserves a second chance, with quite a few exceptions though. Not because, they shall be forgiven but because mistakes help people grow. Without them, people won’t ever improve. So many of us mess up in our lives.

A second chance extended to another person is also a second chance for us. We shall not limit our potential by closing our minds to the possibility of change.

If you give them a chance to stand on their own two feet, it could make them realise that they’re loved and are cared for!

Our bad mental habits…

Our bad mental habits, cost us a lot more than we can ever imagine.

By bad mental habits, I don’t mean some kind of actual bad stuff, addictions or anything which you might be wondering, right now.

But, to be precise, the unhealthy beliefs..

The unhealthy beliefs about ourselves, the unhealthy beliefs about others and the unhealthy beliefs about the world…

We all live in this little space around us, which can either be beautiful or hideous, depending on our mental habits.

It’s common for each one of us to complain about our enemies, to get jealous of their success, thinking ‘Why do they have all the luck in this world ?’ . No matter how hard we try, we really can’t stop thinking that way, right? In fact, it can make you feel much better, if I am not wrong.

It’s okay to feel sorry about yourself, but it’s not okay to give those thoughts the power to let you down..

When you get belittled by somebody in your life,it’s okay to feel hurt, to cry out loud, but it’s not okay to give them the power to hurt you everytime. Maybe, they aren’t the best people on this earth ? – Nobody’s perfect though. Even you are also not.

We as humans, have got the power to control only one person in our lives and that is our own self. It is only when you truly love yourself, just the way you are, you’ ll be the happiest.

The only person, to whom we can compare ourselves is the person we were yesterday!

Things 2017 made me learn.

Okay, so it can be quite a difficult task to actually have to pen down what exactly did the year – which is coming to an end , made you learn.

But, as writing makes you feel good and lighter – let’s just do it , so that in the coming years when you look back, you’ll have a sneak-peek of what the past years have made you learn and have helped you grow and evolve as a better human.

So, shall we go ahead ?

Whilst, the lessons in life are never ending because our life is a learning curve! We all, as humans learn from our mistakes.

So here it goes..

  • What tops my list is that life doesn’t really go according to our plans. Yes, at the beginning of each year – you make plans, you make resolutions but how many of you have actually been able to achieve those resolutions in the same way as you planned it to be ? I doubt – not everybody does.
  • People come into your life for a reason. This year has taught me how to let go of people, feelings, friendships and so much more. Even though I still care , but I had to learn that you can’t force anybody to stay in your life forever. Even the close ones don’t stay forever!

Nothing ever leaves, until it teaches what you need to know.

– Pema Chodron

  • People change. They really do. Their personality switches as soon as they switch their environment.. and in the end, it doesn’t even matter to them!
  • The line – “Silence speaks louder than words” did make an entry into my life this year. I learned it’s better to have your mouth shut than to say something violent – which people will not eventually pay any heed to. There were times, when I just felt like screaming out loud – but it’s of no use, literally. Better not ruin your mouth for somebody else’s fault. Maintain your dignity.

  • Your kindness might sometimes get misunderstood for your weakness. Be careful.

  • Bad days will come, for sure. Learn to be strong enough to face them. Life’s a learning curve, isn’t it ?
  • The moment people get to know of your disabilities, all the focus tends to shift from your capabilities, your positive qualities to just the negative ones! Well, that is what you call the society’s way of thinking.
  • Tolerance. I learned to tolerate people. You can’t change anybody. You can only control yourself, your actions, your behaviours! All you can do is just being you. Let the world adjust.
  • Some paths – you have take alone. Learn to be alone. It’s really difficult. But we have got no choice, when the world turns it’s back towards us.
  • I used to be a negative person at times though, but circumstances and experiences made me see the positive side of everything.

There’s a lot more I have learnt, so I would only like to say that the list above is not exhaustive.

Now may I know what have you all learnt this year ?! 😉